Happy new year
Happy new year
May we all have a vision now and then
Of a world where every neighbour is a friend
Happy new year
Happy new year
May we all have our hopes, our will to try
If we don't we might as well lay down and die
You and I

A bajillion years ago in high school, I think I made people listen to this song incessantly right around this time of year.

Just to back that statement up, here's one Melanie posted on Facebook today:

Melanie Clark *Sings "Happy new year, happy new year, may we all.." As with EVERY New Years day, Abba haunts me until I cover my ears and start shouting "It's a small world after all.." CURSE YOU PAUL ADAMS, AND THE MITSUBISHI COLT YOU DROVE IN ON!!

At first glance, I smiled and giggled a little bit inside. Was I really that obnoxious back then? (when I see my nephew John in action I realize that I probably was…)

But on further reflection (are we supposed to be all reflecty today?), I started thinking more about the paths my life has taken since way back then.

Here's another lyric from the song, the one that has actually stuck with me all these years:

It's the end of a decade
In another ten years time
Who can say what we'll find
What lies waiting down the line
In the end of eighty-nine

Besides horribly dating the song in 1979 (ABBA was so 1970's after all), it also gave me pause to reflect at the end of '89, just like the song said.

So here's the rundown.

At the end of '89 I was working as the manager of an 8 screen movie theatre in Arlington TX. I remember being upset on New Years Eve because there were no less than 5 accidents between my work and my home at 2AM when I got off work. I had spent the last decade trying to balance going to college and maintaining a demanding 60 an hour a week job. I finally gave up on college. And soon after this decade was over, I gave up on the demanding job.

At the end of '99, I was living in San Francisco, working for myself, running my own company. In the decade since '89 I had worked in three of the crazy startups in Silicon Valley, I had worked at NASA, and I had survived cancer. I had made several trips to Europe and the UK (my first trip to Loch Ness to look for Nessie!) I had camped in the dessert looking for UFOs with Gary. I went to the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras with Jim (That's in Australia). Who would've expected all that back when they released this song?

At the end of '09, I am living in Portland. I am married to the man (and his ginormous extended family) that I love. In the past decade I have been the youth director at the largest Methodist church in Oregon, I have re-connected with many of my friends from the old days, I have remained cancer free. I've been to Antarctica, South America, Alaska, back to Europe, and all over the USA.

And more good news: this song no longer applies. I don't have to play this game this decade, only because "nineteen" doesn't rhyme with "who can say what we'll find"…

But, if it did apply, looking ahead I plan to have many happy years with Tim, travel a lot, maybe get a dog. It's the simple things. Maybe I will check back in in the end of twenty-nine.

October 13, 1981
The topic that I choose is locked away in my imagination. Behind the barriers that I have created. The topic can not escape. The doors leading to it are barred, saving it from the weather. The topic is a timid one, when it has been free, it has hidden in the corners. This topic thrives on reality. it lusts for emotion. Someday it will manifest, but only when it is ready. It has been burned before. It has learned from its mistakes. It watches, it waits, it comtemplates in the inner-most region of my mind. It is spontaneous. It cannot, will not be monitored. It has buckled under pressure. It will not again. My topic is a secret. It is locked away in my Imagination. Someday, the doors will fling open and my topic will escape. Pray you're not there. It cares for no one. It steps on anything that gets in its way. It will get out and create havoc. It won't get out, I forbid it. It may be present, but it won't rule me. It may speak through my mouth but it won't work through my hands. My topic is frightning. Someday I will die. Then my topic will be someone else's. Maybe they will lock it away too. Maybe…..

…To which the teacher grading the thing said only "How Clever!"

I've added a section called "Journaling" to the blog@cliffdweller (that's this blog, señors and señoras). My intent is to (over time) post all of the journals that I kept in High School, Jr. High School, and as a young adult online. My reasons are varied and many, all of which I will tell you about right now.

1. there are over 2000 uses for flour tortillas
2. I am lazy: this way I have something to post when I can't think of anything else to talk about
3. I am self-indulgent: like this whole blog isn't already just about me and whatever I want it to be or something
4. I am crazy: this one probably has several sub categories but it's nothing we didn't already know
5. extra work: of course it is. If I keep it up I'll be scanning pages from the journals and retyping them etc. etc. Heck, I've already spent about an hour just on the style sheet so it looks cool…

Before I begin, let me just say that in many ways I'm a different person now than I was then. If the post seems too republican, or too judgmental or too high-school-black-and-white, remember that it is from my distant past. Since then I have learned new things, experienced new cultures, come out to mom and dad and at the workplace, etc etc. If you are me (and I know you want to be) then you'll see little glimmers of what I am now in the pieces from then. If you are not me, then you've probably already stopped reading and moved on.

I don't plan to do them in any particular order, but I will try to follow any threads that exist.

Part of my motivation is to archive these old journals and to explore my past.

wee-hoo, without further ado…