So, we never had "THE Talk"–we just talked. My parents and I had a pretty open relationship and talked about everything. Oh, we had problems to be sure, serious problems. but I knew they loved me and so I felt I could trust them when it came to the big stuff. So, although they were hesitant to bring up the subject, once it was out there we talked about it. It never occurred to me to ask anyone else when I had a question.

And I that is the important thing–talking. I agree you shouldn't assume what your kids know and don't know–you should know what they know. And if you don't know, ask.

Because if you don't have the kind of relationship where you can talk about anything and everything by the time your child is 11 or 12, you better get one quick. Numerous studies on children's attitudes about sex, school, drugs, smoking, etc. have found that if a child does not have a close relationship with their parents then by the time they are 14, their primary influence is their peer group (i.e. the blind leading the blind). And it is very difficult to establish a relationship after puberty. It's possible, of course, but it takes a lot of time and prayer to do it.

So long before it's time to talk to your kids about sex, you need to talk to your kids about life, the universe, and everything. Although, I thought the movie HOOK (1991) was mostly dumb, there was one line that always stuck with me. There is a scene where the grown Peter Pan's wife is confronting him about being a workaholic and never being there for the kids. She says, "Your children love you, they want to play with you. How long do you think that lasts? … We have a few special years with our children, when they're the ones that want us around. After that you're going to be running after them for a bit of attention."

[BTW, as for getting books on the subject--go ahead, get a whole library. Because when your kids do ask questions, you'll need to know what--and how--to tell them. Also, you will teach them an important skill--When in doubt, do more Research!]