blog@cliffdweller

Today I read an article about the tragedy in the mine in West Virginia. It is a tragedy and I do not mean to make light of it, but the article goes on to say some very disturbing things about the victim's families and other bystanders during the horrible accident.

One of the reactions:

Three hours later, joy gave way to grief and anger when mine officials broke the terrible news. A witness said one relative lunged for an official and had to be wrestled to the ground.

and then the very next paragraph:

State troopers and an armed Swat team were posted alongside the road by the church in the small town of Tallmansville near Buckhannon, in case relatives' anger spilled over into violence.

Hello? Don't you think it would be better to staff the area with Grief Counselors than armed forces? Maybe there were grief counselors there as well, but the report didn't mention them. If they were there and overlooked by the press, then that seems to be a problem too. "Let's just show the anger and negative for better ratings." What was that Don Henley song about Dirty Laundry?

So since my head is already going down this path, let's see what else it digs up.

I thought of this exchange which seems very similar to the one outlined in the article:

"There's a snake next to your foot!"

"But you said there weren't any snakes here!"

…seems like the way we've learned to react with our emotions in this country. Nevermind the urgency of the situation, I'm going to take you to task for something you said. Let's assume the snake is poisonous and really near by, in the time that the second statement occurs the snake has struck and killed someone.

Maybe a better exchange would be:

"There's a snake next to your foot!"

"Eeek!" – and jump away

in this example, someone reacted to the information, instead of challenging it.

A very real example of this crazy way we react comes from my cancer days. I sent emails out to a bunch of people three different times. The first time to say "hey, I have cancer, and I'm going into treatment…", the second one to say "The treatment is going well, everything is looking good" and the third mass group email said "treatment is over, I pulled thru".

Now, please remember, I was sick. I was undergoing aggressive chemotherapy. There were lots of things in my life right then that just couldn't happen up to speed. I wasn't sending the email to a mailing list, I was just selecting people from my address book and sending it out. One guy that I know got all upset with me because he didn't get the first email, he only found out when he received the second one. What he said was that he was hurt because I didn't think enough of him to tell him before treatment started. And he's only talked to me once since 1998.

I know he was stressed about the cancer and the treatment, we were pretty good friends back when. But that's not how he expressed his anger and fear. He expressed it by saying "enough about you, what about me". I blame mothers and fathers who allow Television and Movies to raise their kids.

Look at me, I'm suddenly Grandpa Simpson with stories from all over the place. Excuse me while I go find an onion to hang on my belt.

It is very difficult for me to imagine the horrible sense of loss that friends and families of those miners must be feeling right now. But lashing out at the people delivering the information just seems strange to me.