They say we can't get married. They say that loving Gay couples getting married will destroy the institution of marriage. They say that marriage is sacred. In their marriage ceremonies before God, they say "until death do us part" and then they get divorced and remarried, over and over, hoping all the while that God wasn't paying attention the first time. Since we can't seem to outlaw straight marriage (or divorce) with a true Defense of Marriage Act, I started thinking of other ways to chip away at the bigotry.
Here's an Idea I had. They got their closed little view of supposed church values imposed on a legal contract, so let's all go one step closer that they can't take away…
I suggest that we all propose to our sweethearts. Start calling them "Fiance" instead of "boyfriend", "girlfriend", "lover" or whatever else. In Public. Buy engagement rings. Make a big deal out of it. Have Engagement Parties in Las Vegas. I think that they will have more trouble with us leading up to the Marriage thing than they will know how to handle.
With everything it implies (love, commitment, family), it drives a bulldozer right thru the front gates with a myriad of huge messages attached: We Love Each Other. We Will Get Married. It's All About Our Future Together.
I believe that if every Gay couple in the U.S. started referring to each other today as "fiance" that it would begin chipping away at the defenses of a very vocal and bigoted minority. I believe that most people vote "no" on Gay marriage because they've never really thought about it, until they are told to vote. As always, when they know the people who are involved, their story changes completely. Change is a scary thing for anyone when they don't understand why it's needed, but once they are personally involved, most people embrace the change.
And here's a thought for the older generation that's spoon feeding us their personal, if somewhat misguided, values right now… The kids of today aren't afraid of Gay people. They have very different feelings about it. Gay marriage will be a reality within the next twenty years.
I've known straight people who were engaged to be married for a number of years, so I think it's only a natural progression to do it myself. And I encourage you to do it too.
One Comment
Good idea. Words like "fiance, spouse, marriage, married" and so forth certainly apply – and they mean the same thing regardless of one's gender. Using anything else marginalizes us.
The fight for marriage equality has been going on for hundreds of years, and will no doubt continue for hundreds more. The "other side" of the current debate tends to forget that they are enjoying the rights and priveledges from previous battles.
For example, how long ago were interracial marriages finally made legal? And I read some place that around 1894, a court ruled a husband does not have the legal right to beat his wife. Just imagine what married life was like before that!