When I was a senior in high school, all of the planets aligned on one side of the sun and many of the crazy people (read: fundamentalists) were predicting the end of the world as we know it and the coming of judgement day. I think this was about the third time in my life that the end of the world had been predicted. It was very similar to the whole Y2K thing, except the problem wasn't man-made.
Tonight, an old buddy of mine reminded me that we completed a project called "Judgement Day Top 40" that was mirrored after the Billboard Top 40 radio show that was popular at the time. We took three days to play the whole thing in class.
Yes, we actually got to play Rock and/or Roll music in the Texas Public Schools back in 1982.
We had a lot of fun picking out songs with bad puns ("the party's over", "gone too far", "Don't Stop (thinking about tomorrow)" etc) and attributing songs to people who would never in a million years actually sing them (Amazing Grace by Wendy O'Williams and the Plazmatics, Jesus Christ Superstar by The Rolling Stones, etc). And we made everyone listen to long distance dedications to the likes of lucifer himself (You're so Vain by Carly Simon on that one).
There were lots of inside jokes and lots of general jokes and lots of crazy stuff to be had. The best part was the #1 record of all time, as chosen by "Him" for the Judgement Day Top 40 was so perfect for the project.
As I remember neither one of us owned the record, so we had to make a mad dash into Houston to a store that carried 45s from the not-to-distant past just to find a copy. (what we could have done with iTunes back then!) So after a mad dash and a few late nights and three days of building antici… …pation (say it with me like you're at the Rocky Horror Picture show), we finally revealed the #1 song of all time: You Light Up My Life by Debbie Boone.
They almost lynched us right on the spot. It was a beautiful moment.
Here's a link to the full list. You might chuckle some, you might not understand the teenage humor behind some of it. If you are under 40 you might not recognize some of the tunes (yes there were one hit wonders back then too). But if it takes you back, and especially if you were one of the lucky 30 or so people to actually hear the Judgement Day Top 40 in its original form, I'd love to hear from you.
Oh and for the record, last I heard the world is not supposed to end until 2012 now. Thank the Mayan Calendar for that…
27 Comments
Too funny! And it sounds like it was a lot of fun not only to compile the list, but also to actually find the song.
I wonder, though, what songs would be on the top 40 if the list were to be compiled today. Would Prince's "1999" be #1?
The List would include tunes like "Hit Me Baby One More Time" or maybe "Wake Me When September Comes," but YLUML still may be the perfect #1.
HAHAHAHA
I suppose 2012 is just long enough for one more Bush term, Jeb Bush that is…
And don't forget "It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)"…actually, lots of R.E.M. would've fit — like "Losing My Religion" and "Near Wild Heaven."
Dear sweet Tweedy Lord, what a blast from the past!!
I still remember the indignant howls from the class for YLUML!!
Of course, now I think of judgement day everytime I'm stuck next to my 8 year old on the other computer and she goes to Barbie.com and watches a 'video'
of the doll singing "Oops, I did it again" and OMG just go ahead and take me now, Lord "What I like about You" *shudder, wince, feel old*
-Why, this is Hell, madam, and we are i'nt.
How the aging new waver dies by inches…
I like that "Dear sweet Tweedy Lord". I'm gonna use it…
Linda Boeger indulged us so much…too much probably, at least for her own sanity. "1999" would've probably made the list — if it hadn't released just a few months after we graduated; it's a natural.
On a list made in 2005, Death Cab's "Soul Meets Body" might've made the cut; maybe the Strokes' "The End Is Not The End"; "Seven Nation Army"; the Vaughan Brothers' "Tick Tock"; something from "American Idol" — which is my personal proof the end is near.
And our finale would've been something along the lines of YLUML — maybe Jessica Simpson's version of "Angels"…which is actually probably more cringe-inducing than our actual number one. Hey, how did "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" miss the final cut? It's not exactly like we were subtle or anything.
That's right, mock the pathetic, aging, new waver..I only wish, living here in the buckle of the bible belt, that they believed he wore something as flexable as Tweed. I'm pretty sure that all their godliness has him dressed much more severly…kevlar, maybe?
Le Sigh.
BTW, Mark…Ms Boeger's sanity was never our target…what was the name of the scary one we did drive to the locked ward??? You know, the one who was sponser of the Troika?
Maybe Don't Fear the Reaper was the censored one at number 2… Personally, I think a new list could include "Bella Lagosi's Dead" from Bahaus, N*Stink's "Bye Bye Bye", New Order's "Regret", and maybe something like Erasure's "I Bet Your Mad at Me". Vicarage Road by the Weeping Willows comes to mind as well.
and for the new number on: Stacey's Mom by Fountains of Wayne. hahahaha. If it's good enough for a Dr. Pepper commercial, it's good enough for JDT40.2.
I wasn't in Troika, Mel (hi, btw), so I don't remember that woman's name right off, but I can picture who you're talking about — she also had a miserable look on her underpaid face. As for me? I'm just afraid Robyn McKinney's living in a dump somewhere with my pictures plastered all over the place.
What else might pop up on an updated list? Britney Spears' "Toxic" (such a appropriate title); The Smiths' "How Soon Is Now"; "I Melt With You"; The White Stripes' "Denial Twist" (for non-believers); Oasis' "Don't Look Back In Anger"; and Mark Knopfer's "Boom, Like That."
If we could do it today, we'd have the technological advances to make it sound really great — digital, baby! Instead of, you know…a crappy cassette recorder.
And, yeah, maybe "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" was our censored number two. Do you recall why #2 was indeed censored? Could we only think of 39 songs?
I remember we played only a few bars of #2 and then censored it. But I don't remember what it was. It had to be something that was topical, because I don't think we would have gone for anti-climax for two songs in a row, and we were building up to YLUMY…
Ms Morton?? sounds about right?? and Miss Boeger's married name was???
Lexx? Linx? Kent?? no that's Clark…
I do remember that we sent her to the locked ward, though.
Robyn?? Blast from the past, indeed!
I personally worry that Mike Maddox joined some anti-everybody cult somewhere, and is holed up in Montana with a bunch of freeze dried food and a few dozen wives teaching the new improved bible.
Hi Mark, Mark Williams!!
Y'all don't be so sniffy about that tape recorder, it was as high tech as it got, back then. After all, it was a 'disk drive' Yipes!
My kids don't believe that we used to have tv with no cable and records were records, not cds.
Le Sigh.
*Goes away to feel old*
PS Be nice about Stacy's Mom…I never know to feel *Eww*
while most of me wants to say "Go Stacy's mom!! Yeah!!"
Ah, the simple joys of motherhood!!
I think we didn't include Don't Fear the Reaper because at the time neither of us had a copy.
Yes, it was Ms. Morton that we (I?) drove to the looney bin.
And I think Boeger's married name became Herring. But I'm not positive.
Mel: Mike Mattox, besides a receding hairline and a divorce under his belt, hasn't changed all that much. Not at all, really. And you're half right about the cult thing: he's a Buddhist these days — and driving a big rig for Budweiser. At least he was the last time we talked about such things.
And Stacy's Mom? Well, she's evidently got it goin' on. Good for her, I say.
Hi, Paul, Mark, and Melanie!
Just thought I would join in the Creative Writing Class reunion.
Yes, I remember the Top 40, barely. There were so many crazy skits in that class. Funny thing about that class, it was supposed to be a Creative *Writing* class, but I don't remember doing a lot of writing. Man, it's hard to believe that it has been 23 years. I don't feel that old. Even that list looks ancient, printed on a … what, 9 pin printer, or whatever they were back in the dark ages.
Yes, Melanie, it was Ms. Morton who sponsored Troika. But we didn't have to work to drive her around the bend–she was going for a track record all by herself. My favorite part of that class was when we were supposed to be going out selling copies or sponsorships or something and we really just when and got a coke or ice cream and then "forgot" to go back for sixth period. Still haven't told my parents about that. :-)
I can't remember Boeger's married name, either, except that it was a fish–so Herring is probably right.
Anyway, thanks for the smile–then and now.
Hey, Neecie, Mel, P.Lee –
More possibilities for a new century JDT40 ('cuz I've got much time on my hands…hey, there's one right there!)
SQUIRREL NUT ZIPPERS – Hell
KEANE – Somewhere Only We Know (you know…the other place)
POLYPHONIC SPREE – Light & Day/Reach For The Sun
COLDPLAY – 'Til Kingdom Come
EAST RIVER PIPE – Hell Is An Open Door
and, for the Class of '82, a special dedication:
DANDY WARHOLS – We Used To Be Friends
Merry Christmas to all and to all…oh, you know the rest.
Mark
It was "Mother" Morton, I believe. And Herring is Ms. Boeger's married name. And I had lunch with Mike Maddox a year or so ago, here in Houston. And now I teach writing–how's that for scary??? But my kids are only 9 years old, so they haven't taken over the class yet. Yet.
dlt
Hey, what if we'd made YMCA by the Village People the number one hit of all time?
I was just wondering.
…can you say evil, boys and girls?
I thought I had blocked all of this stuff from my memory. Luckily, most of it is a COMPLETE haze.
The only clear memory I can recall is giving Ms. Morton a "101 Things To Do With a Dead Cat" book, after her cat died. I THINK I'm going to hell for that. I did regret it later, if that counts for anything.
I think that YLUML is the perfect #1, by the way.
I love the dot matrix list. Printed from one of your Apple computers, no doubt. Paul, you were SO ahead of your time.
What do you mean "were so ahead" of my time? I like to believe I still am. =:o
Dudes and dudettes. This is hurting my Brain. I'll have to dig through the itunes collection and bring out the so obscure. Anyway other hands, hows everybody doing out there in 1's and 0's land ????
And Mel a special how the heck are you doing. Drop me a line.. tlrominger@comcast.net. That goes for the rest too…
O yea Paul you would be proud. This is being typed on my old Pismo. Got to love the old school apple.
You know, I took my old yearbook to show my 4th graders what I looked like in high school. It became the most popular book in class! And, no matter how many times I tried to explain, they never understood why the first signing in that book is totally SPELLED WRONG!! Thanks for that, Paul.
Melanie and Denise:
Mrs. Thorpe's Humanities project. Need I say more?
wow, typing on a pismo. I didn't know any of them would even still run. I would only be more amazed if you were typing on the old Atari 800.
Diane: I spelled something wrong?!? Never! It wasn't me. My spellling has always been flawless.
Dont speak too soon. I have one in storage somewhere.