As someone who actually likes to write, I find myself looking for inspiration everywhere. Since I live alone with Bimbo, and since I know she's not going to get all pissy if I expose a character flaw, she seems like a good target. You know, Bimbo, my 17 year old dingo.
Whenever I wake up in the morning and first open the vertical blinds to the balcony, she races to the pane of glass separating her from the outside world and begins to bark. Now, she's old. Her vision isn't what it used to be and neither is her hearing. Her sniffing may still be as strong, but I don't believe the vertical blinds make that much difference to the smells coming from outside. At least not to her little doggie nose.
The thing that really stands out here is that without thinking, she's on autopilot. The door is open to the outside world, there must be something to bark at.
She stops for a minute, until I actually open the glass door. If the screen door is closed still, she will run into it and mash her nose, 100 per cent of the time. Funny old thing. As soon as the way to the balcony is unobstructed, she races to the very edge, pokes her face through the honeysuckle and morning glory vines, and begins barking again. She has seen the dog in the yard downstairs enough to simply assume that he's out there and ready to be barked at.
Do I see human behavior in Bimbo? You bet I do.
When I am with my family, and the word "Gay" comes up, the defenses automatically jump up. I don't know why. To my knowledge none of them has ever been accosted by a Gay person. None of them has ever had an overtly or unwelcomed Gay experience. Well, I guess my coming out could have been an unwelcomed Gay experience for them, but why?
Like Bimbo keeping with the status quo, they immediately start spouting other people's opinions and other things they've heard.
My brother-the-southern-preacher, while trying to be supportive, still says incredibly hurtful things, without realizing it I think. He'll say separate but equal civil unions are ok for Gays, but that marriage should just not be allowed. Then he'll say something in a few minutes like "marriage is a government thing, I won't even perform a ceremony in the church unless the couple has a certificate from the county." He doesn't seem to care that there are over 1000 benefits that Gay people don't get from the government.
My mother will have heated discussions on topics like Gay Marriage where she simply states it's an abomination, it's against the teaching of the bible, and then after thinking about how she's just totally alienated her youngest son will back down to a softer song and dance, without really changing the things she thinks. My favorite thing to say back to her is that it's against the same book of the bible to eat shellfish. Shrimp is her favorite food. While that always satisfies me, it is always instantly dismissed by her. Apparantly, not loving other people (if they are the wrong sex) in Leviticus is to be taken seriously, but other crimes against nature (eating shrimp and lobster and other shell fish) is a passage that just doesn't conveniently fit.
The only thing my father has ever had to say about it is to suggest I remain celebate for the rest of my life. Hello? Did he remain celebate after leaving my mother? Even though Jesus never said anything anti- or pro-gay (not once, nary even a hint), he did say it was forbidden to divorce your wife. Hmmmm.
I think, and this is purely my opinion, that for straight people, when one says "I'm Gay," they hear "I like to [bleep] other guys in the [bleep]." It's instantly all about the sex. But when they see a young heterosexual couple with a baby, they don't immediately leap to the sex, they leap to the "aww, it's a family" thing. Why don't they think about when the young daddy [bleeped] the young mother in the [bleep]?
What was the very first thought in your head when you found out I was Gay?
These comments are already all over the map. There are many similar threads in other blogs and magazines and movies and so on. I guess my point, trying to round back to the example of Bimbo barking first and asking questions later, is that we all do what we know.
Heterosexual people just chew up and spew what they've done before, Homosexual people do too. We're all more comfortable with what we know, what we've done before. It's time we got over ourselves and our opinions of other people and start allowing them to live their own lives.
One Comment
Status quo. That's pretty much it in a nutsack… er, nutshell. Except this status quo has been in place for hundreds and hundreds of years. It's a cultural thing – but I don't think it's about the sex. It's a power thing, sadly, and it's all about male dominance.
Seems kinda silly, no? But it's the only logical reason I can see. In almost every culture, the male has a certain dominate role – whether he accepts it or not. The assumption is that power resides with the male. Now, when two gay males get together for some good ol' lovin', it's assumed that one of them has to assume a feminine role. I think it's this rejection of masculinity that has the history of breeders all in a tizzy. That's what they are really pointing to as an "abomination." What a load of crap!
But I think it kinda explains the illogical hatred of gays over the years. I have never understood that hatred – that someone could *hate* another person for no logical reason just escapes me – and I'm from the South where institutional hatred is common.
Over the past few years, though, I can sort of relate. I've heard people spew just awful things about gays like "they're sick!" or "they should just all get AIDS and die!" Instead of arguing against it, I just smile and say, "Yeah. I feel the same way about smokers. They can't die fast enough."
I know, I know… it's sinking to their level. I'm supposed to be above all that, right? It's surprisingly satisfying. Chances are, the "hatemonger" smokes or at the very least knows someone who smokes. They cannot handle having their rants directed back at them. It's kinda cool to assume the moral highground. The view is pretty good from up here. Now, where is that barking coming from…?